'Remould it nearer to the Heart's desire'

Since Mocuar’s heart attack (she’s recovering well and is pretty much back to her old self) we’ve used the time to have a hard look at what we’ve been doing and where we’re going. A few nights ago she had a thought which triggered a long discussion, leading to a realisation of something which, when you look at it, seems bleeding obvious.
It’s simply this. For some years now we’ve been working an M/S magickal system, but we’ve seen it as something which we fit within the framework of a conventional marriage. So first and foremost we are a married couple. The Master/Slave element of our relationship is secondary to that. This means that the ordinary daily stuff we do has priority and we ‘insert’ the sex magick when it’s convenient. Not only does this reduce the power of what we do, but it also determines the way we see ourselves as individuals. I’m a husband first and a master second.
This has to change. We’re both convinced of this. We looked back on times when we felt the flow was there and we were more in tune with each other and what we were doing and on each occasion it was when the M/S aspect was fully connected and the husband/wife stuff simply faded into the background.
Not that the conventional marriage aspect isn’t important. It is, we need it to negotiate the conventional world, but it’s only a surface covering, a persona. So it has to be M/S primary and marriage secondary.
Having come to that conlusion we’re faced with how to do it. Because at the heart of it is a major shift in the way we see ourselves. Both of us have been in conventional marriages and relationships before and the pattern was deeply ingrained, we slid into it without really noticing. Perhaps we need to break down marriage primary before we can install M/S primary.

Or, as The Rubaiyat of Omar Khayyam has it:


Ah Love, could thou and I with fate conspire
to grasp this sorry scheme of things entire.
Would not we shatter it to bits and then remould it nearer to the heart's desire.

Spiritual

A couple of pics from Erectus:





(click for bigger)

the title of this post does, of course, refer to the second picture.

Rammstein

We saw them live a few years back. One of the best rock gigs I've ever seen.

Here's a recent ditty of theirs:

(can't embed it so you'll have to click on the link)

Pussy



And here's the excellent 'Sonne'

Matters Arising

You will have noticed that I've not been posting much lately.

This is because just over a month ago, Mocuar had a minor heart attack. She's OK, was only in hospital for two days, though it was a scare the day it happened.

She was taken into hospital and underwent one of those procedures where little balloons are used to open up the arteries and some sort of gizmo was placed in her heart to keep the artery open. The procedure lasted for about an hour, she was conscious throughout and was flirting outrageously with the medical team.

That's my girl.

Since then she's been recovering, more or less back to normal, the main difference seems to be that she tires easily. As she's someone who's always been very active, she has a tendency to overdo it, and I have to make sure she rests. At times like these, being a Master has it's advantages . . .

My overwhelming priority at the moment is to take care of her and this means some major life changes to work patterns and so forth. But we're getting there.

So my posts may be irregular for a little while but normal service will be resumed. Promise.

Marat/Sade

We recently watched Marat/Sade, I hadn't seen it for years and had forgotten just how mind-blowingly good it is.

See it if you can. Unforgettable.

I can't resist quoting this:


When I lay in the Bastille for 13 long years I learned that this is a world of bodies: each body pulsing with it's own terrible power. Each body alone and racked with it's own unrest.
In that lonliness, marooned in a stone sea I heard lips whispering continually and felt, all the time, in the palms of my hands and in my skin, the need for contact.
Shut behind13 bolted doors, my feet fettered, I dreamed only of the orifices of the body, put there so one may hook and twine oneself in them.
Continually I dreamed of this confontation. it was a dream of the most savage, jealous and cruellest imagining.

Marat, These cells of the inner self are worse than the deepest stone dungeons. And as long as they are locked, all your revolution is but a prison mute, to be put down by corrupted fellow prisoners.

Aleister and Avalon

I've recently been enjoying two books by Paul Weston: Aleister Crowley And The Aeon Of Horus and Avalonian Aeon.





Paul has a knack of making connections and pulling ideas together in a way that defies description. You have to experience it yourself. Suffice to say that I think anyone would come out of reading these books with a very different mindset to the one they started with. Highly recommended.

You can buy them from Paul's site which is always worth a visit.

Crazy and kiss

I seem to be in a very musical place lately. But what the fuck, if it works, work it.

so here's 'Crazy'- always liked this:




And then there's this - more passion than you can shake a stick at: